Your dreams are your personal therapy sessions. They help you express hidden emotions, explore unconscious fears and attractions, and learn more about yourself.

If you are an onion and we peel off all the layers, then at your core we’d discover a yearning for connection with yourself and others. This often plays out in dreams through sexual encounters. I remember a dream I had at high school, where I was kissing a boy who was a year older than me. What most impressed me was the feeling I experienced. I’d never spoken to this boy before, but in my dream I felt such love for him that I woke saying to myself, “That’s what love feels like”. My dream helped me explore depths of love and passion within myself, which until that time I’d barely touched.

Was the dream a premonition? Absolutely not. I’ve never spoken to this boy, or seen him again.

So why did he come through in my dream, and not someone I knew? The answer is simple. If we’re not ready to face the true object of our emotions, we will call in a “stand in” to be the actor in our dream play. That way we can explore our feelings in a less confronting way.

If you dream about sex, then there are 3 likely interpretations:

1. Deliciously exciting sex dreams (a prelude to an arousing day)

The most common reason you will dream about sex is that your biological clock is ticking. It’s saying…hmmmm…3 days (weeks, months) since sex. I’m ready for some more! Your physical body has cycles, and sexual expression is a natural part of that cycle. So if you are distracted by work or relationship issues and are not gifting yourself with the wonder of sex, then this yearning will come through in your dreams. Sex dreams, especially happy, arousing sex dreams, are usually a sign that you need to get in tune with your sexuality and have some fun (with or without a partner!) Often the dream arousal carries over into waking life, encouraging you to take time out in your day for some physical pleasure.


2. Embarrassing sex dreams (thank God there is no video camera present!)

Because dreams hold the key to your unconscious mind, you can work out personal issues and guilt through your dreams. If a part of you has always been curious about “what sex would be like” with someone of the same sex, someone younger or older, with a parent or a teacher, in public or even following a “karma sutra” position, then your unconscious mind may explore this desire in the safety of your dreamscape.

Whilst this can be your body just saying “I need sex”, if you do wake up and feel mortified by what you did in your dream (rather than aroused), then most likely this dream is revealing your unconscious fantasies about sex, and helping you experience these safely. These dreams are an indicator that your head’s attitude and your body’s desires are not in agreement on this particular topic – so look at what you’ve hidden from yourself, and make peace with it.


3. Symbols of Sex – when it can’t be real

If your sex dream is so bizarre that it cannot possibly be literal, then look for the symbolic meaning. For example, if you are naked and have a rat suckling one of your breasts, then you need to look at who in your life is behaving like a rat and “draining” you with their need. How you feel towards the rat in your dream will tell you how you really feel towards this person.

Or let’s say in your dream you are happily parading around the country stark naked from the waist up (feeling completely joyful in this state, despite everyone staring), and then someone strips you from the waist down and you scream and run for cover. This dream is telling you that your issues lie “below the waist” and you carry some unhealed issues about your genitals (not breasts).

Or perhaps you dream that your beloved is having an affair, and you feel all the frustration and rage at this betrayal. If you know that this is not true, then you can look at how your dream is putting you in touch with your deepest fears (the one that says “It’s not safe to open my heart or I might be hurt”). You can also examine whether betrayal is an issue in any other relationship in your life. If it is, then your dream is giving you a fantasy betrayal to become emotional about (so that you can fully connect to your feelings in order to heal them).

Your emotions are the key to your dreams. By helping you express and release these feelings, your dreams keep you healthy. So whenever you have a significant dream, look at the emotion it is inspiring in you. Then examine what other situations in your life (present or past) bring about that same emotion, and see how the dream might be helping you to resolve that issue

Do you want to learn more about how to interpret your own dreams? Click here to learn more about my “Discover your Dreams” CD.

Thanks goes to Nature and Health magazine for permission to reprint these articles.